Tupelo 13/30: There Are Words For This

Dear Reader, 

It was hard for me to write today. Not because I don't have anything to say, but because I am angry and hurt, because all I want to write about is the shooting at Pulse, because I do not want to spew more anger and hurt. 

So I tried to write about something else. I have all of these amazing titles and poem themes that you've donated for, but my heart is with the victims and their families/friends. 

It is not unusual for me to write about what's happening in our communities, near and far. I believe in a poetics of social justice, but I also know that I personally need to process my own emotion before I can write a *real* poem. 

Again, this poem-a-day project has pushed me out of my comfort area. I would have scribed some notes and left them for another time, when I could look back and reflect on the massacre, the public response, and my own emotion. But I had to write a poem today! And as hard as I tried, I could not write about anything else. 

I am most angry because I am scared, just as I was scared after Charleston, after Isla Vista, after Newtown, after Aurora (and there are too many to name). I fear for myself and for those I love. These are schools, places of worship, movie theaters, clubs: these are supposed to be safe havens. 

I am scared because so many of these mass shootings have targeted specific people, based on religion, ethnicity/race, and gender/sexual orientation. 

These types of incidents bring out the worst in us: our rage, our inability to listen to opposing viewpoints. But they also can bring out the best: donating ourselves (blood and brains) to rebuilding and healing. 

Today's poem (which is a very raw draft, friends) is wanting to offset that anger with love. It's dedicated to my friend Kate Twigg. 

Here is an excerpt of "There Are Words For This" (read the full poem on Tupelo Press' 30/30 blog):

"...A pressure-cooked psyche, body armored
against words slung like explosives. How many times

have you been a casualty of well-meaning friends
or total strangers, retreated to the so-called safe spaces,
where you might let your body be open, free."

So many of you have donated to my participation in this project. I'm going to email a few donors to confirm their incentives, so check your email. 

If you would like to title one of my poems, select five words for a poem, give me a potential theme/topic, offer a formal challenge, or receive a chapbook at the end of this project, please see my first posting for incentive amounts and make your way to the Tupelo Press donation page. Be sure to select my name from the scroll down tab titled "Is this donation in honor of a 30/30 poet?" 

Yours in poetry,

Emari